The question in the title combines some things I'm thinking about lately. Without meaning to, I have written fifteen draft posts and not one has seen the day of light here...
Writing to express your feelings is good.
Writing to express your feelings while inspiring others is even better.
I don't want to be the kind of woman who writes and not shares. I always used to share more - but somehow in the midst of being busy building another life in yet another country, sharing what's important to me got lost. Or actually - is still waiting in draft...
This all is going through my mind, as well as many other thoughts. From the mundane ones, to the life changing, heart breaking and uplifting ones... Having swirling thoughts in my head is never good for me - I know that much. I'm the kind of woman who needs to express herself. If you have met me in real life, you know that I say what I think and I mean it too. It's one of the reasons I started writing my blog in the first place. To give all these swirling thoughts a place and to meet other people as well. It was never about the numbers for me, nor will it ever be. So coming back to my beloved blog, I again neglected it for the easiness of writing on social media. I love using Instagram but it will never replace my blog or will it ever feel the same. I've been writing in my own little space since 2010, but I need to take better care of it.
The same goes for taking better care of myself, it's not something I'm good at. Giving and taking care of others comes naturally to me. But I know I'm not alone in this. We all are women, mothers, wives, friends, daughters and more, but we first and foremost need to take better care of ourselves in order to be at our best. This can be achieved in so many forms and ways, I have to address this in a separate post. But taking care of ourselves is something most of us are not doing or not well enough. It's time to change this. For me, it means to stop being my worst critic, to tick more boxes of my to-do list, to start yoga again and letting go of things that are not in my control anyway. The writing part, the sharing part, the being patient and letting go part, those are all things I can control and it will be good to focus more on them. Oh, and yes, the yoga part too...sigh... aching muscles and all.
Someone once said to me, 'you have so much to share with others' and my first response was 'really?'. But then I read a message from someone saying they miss my posts. Another person I met in real life, who is a reader from the early days, was happy we finally met. And another comment online from someone who I don't know but somehow I inspired her. I guess I do connect with more people than I think, but oh that little voice of self-doubt nagging in my ear... It will have to go to the back of my head, because I honestly have no patient with it anymore - it's time to clear the house.
I have also been making more room in my head by shutting out the unwanted online noises, the comparison game I see going on, the shaming of women amongst each other - I'm shutting it all out. That's not the kind of women I want to have in my life or need to read about. I surround myself with the positive girls, the creative ones, the kind and honest ones. They say, a rising tide lift all boats. Well, I always am one for community over competition, so yes - that's where I'm heading and those are the kind of women I like to hang out with. Online or offline.
So what kind of woman do you want to be? With the new year almost upon us, I think it's a good time to start fresh and look at our habits and thoughts in a fresh perspective. Change what we don't like and hold on what we already love about ourselves. Not in a new years resolution way, but think more of it being a year round habit shift. Or you can literally start clearing out your belongings of course, that always helps me clear my head.
But for me, writing from the heart the way I'm doing right now, is something I always did and will continue to do so. Because that's the kind of woman I intend to stay.
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~thank you for reading Moksi Collective - See you soon in the new year.